The Myth of the Disney 'Princess'

I saw on social media a podcast owner say, "Women have an inflated sense of what a real 'Princess' is because of how Disney always portrayed them." I won't call this person out, but did we watch the same Disney movies?

On a tangent (y'all should know me well enough by now to know I do these often), she's probably also one of those people who say Romance Novels and Rom Coms give 'biased' 'unbelievable' views of the 'real world' where Love DOES conquer all, and putting someone else ahead of yourself is deceptive and harming and sets back women 1,000 years in thinking they need some man to take care of them and aren't complete without one. I so dare her to tell Princess Leia that.

Please don't mistake my sarcasm for agreement. I feel sorry for people who think the above way. Who can't understand the basic human need for love, understanding, and acceptance, since THAT is the heart of any romance novel and rom-com. It doesn't get any more 'real' than that. We need romance books every bit as much as we need water and air. And it makes me sad some people can't, or won't, understand that.

Nor am I defending Disney's portrayal of Women in movies. Because let's face it: Disney's 'views' of its female characters is pretty messed up early on. Olive Oyl is skinny and unattractive, always needing Popeye to save her; Minnie is utterly dependent on Mickey, Daisy is little more than a prop to Donald.

The Princesses start out much the same way: Moms are usually dead; step-moms are always evil, the princess isn't a princess until she 'catches' the prince with her beauty, she ALWAYS needs a man to save her and has seemingly no ambition beyond getting married and being his wife. 

I don't buy the 'this is the way the times were then' because Disney had a worldwide platform to change that and be better (which, I admit, it does seem to be slowly trying to do...the 'modern' Disney characters are not all man hungry, marriage driven, always joyful singing chicks: they have goals that don't always include men). But Disney DID miss the boat early on in ways it definitely shouldn't have.

Women were fighting in the Revolutionary War and kept countries going in WW2 long before the first Disney Princess (Snow White, in 1952) appeared on the scene. 

Queen Elizabeth in Britain had her palace bombed while she and the King were inside in 1940 and went walking about visiting others who also had their homes bombed the next morning, making jokes about the destruction of her home. She refused to leave the country because the King refused to leave. Princess Elizabeth made her first speech to children evacuated from bombed cities at age 14 and worked in the army as a mechanic during WW2.

Jackie Kennedy, the closest America will ever have to royalty, appeared in photos covered in her husband's blood hours after he was murdered beside her to support a new president and led a nation in mourning its fourth assassinated president. Princess Diana hugged AIDS patients at a time when even medical staff were too terrified to touch them.

Disney missed the opportunity then to highlight these qualities with its movie princesses. It seems, maybe, hopefully, to be trying to 'catch up' now.

Back to the Pod Caster Statement:

First off, Ms. Pod Caster, you discredit women as being ridiculous and stupid. If anyone watched an animated movie and thinks real life is anything like that, you must be insane, immature, and living in a cave. 

Sure, I like these cartoons of a 'normal' girl finding true love and a Prince. But I don't believe the mice running about are going to help me sew anymore than I believe a man I never met or spoke 2 words to is my true love forever, kiss me and let's ride off to your castle for a perfect life where nothing bad happens and I never have to do a lick of work. Real life isn't like that. 

I could (and have) looked into a man's eyes and KNOWN he's my Prince, the one I want forever. But I didn't say, "Ooo, Prince, kiss me and let's elope." We got to know each other, establish a relationship, grow as a couple, etc. And never have I worn a crown or sat around in a ball gown waiting for the next ball, nor did I expect to. Love is about acceptance and growing. Not what material things someone can give me.

Sure, little girls (and boys) believe all princesses do is look pretty, wear the crowns and gowns, and wave at people from glass carriages. They are KIDS. They are epic awesome because they BELIEVE anything is possible: There are aliens who are good, the good guys ALWAYS win, life is fun and safe where evil doesn't exist, and chicken fingers and pizza are the only foods worth eating.

 There's a meme floating about of a boy riding his bike atop a fence. The caption is: "He will never fall until someone points out what he's doing is impossible and destroys his myth."

KIDS believe because they are KIDS. Adults know better.

(I'll interject here I also recognize some kids never get to believe or be kids, that we as a society fail them. Some kids know real evil from way too young and experience the worst of humans and life way too young. They don't get to be a kid.)

But also, kids are SMART. They aren't idiots. Don't believe that, give one a child-proof bottle and see them open it in 2 seconds flat. Or let them program your smart tv. They may believe in make-believe and fairy tales, but they also are way smarter than (most) adults.

I never watched an anvil fall on coyote and thought, "wow, that's so real, I better watch the skies every time I go outside"  any more than I watched Snow White wake from a kiss from a man she never met because of 'true love'. Not when I was six years old and certainly not as a woman. I don't know any women who do.

Ms. Pod caster, you are wrong.

If you think today's royalty is wearing ball gowns and lying about while mice and deer do all the work, again, what planet are you from? Heck, even the Disney Princesses didn't have a fairy tale life!

Disney FINALLY got the message. Look at the 'modern' Disney Princesses: Tiana, Merida, Mulan, Moana, and Pocahontas. These ladies are NOT pushovers for love: and something I adore most about Merida (besides her wild red curls I totally identify with): she's the first Disney princess NOT to have a journey for love or to get a man as her main story: she's saving her beloved mom.

But I digress. My point is, even the first (I was tempted to say older, but that's just wrong) Disney Princesses did NOT have a cushy fun life. For one thing, all of them have a dead mom and/or dad. I recall at 11 thinking Disney obviously hated all moms because the real ones were dead and the step ones were always evil. 

Plus, all the Disney Princesses had anything but a 'perfect' life (just watch their sequels to see all is not wearing gowns and crowns and going to balls). They certainly don't just laze about the palace. All of them worked.

There are 12 'Official' Disney Princesses on the website: The 12 characters in the franchise are Snow White, Cinderella, Aurora, Ariel, Belle, Jasmine, Pocahontas, Mulan, Tiana, Rapunzel, Merida, and Moana.

Here's my point:

Snow White: Orphaned, stepmom tries to kill her, forced to flee the palace, becomes a housekeeper to 7 dwarfs, (I envy the animals she had helping her, not the prince), gets poisoned, has to have a man save her;

Cinderella: Mom died, Dad dies, becomes a servant to evil stepmom & stepsisters, denied the ball bc she's too 'pretty', locked in a room, and finally gets the man to 'save' her;

Aurora/Sleeping Beauty: Hidden away, serves elderly 'grandmothers', denied her 'love', returns reluctantly to her family, cursed to sleep until a man saves her;

Ariel: Forbidden the 'human' world bc Dad is prejudiced, treasures destroyed by Dad, physically altered, loses her voice, finally helps prince save both worlds (she's one of the first who ever actively helps save her world and prince, and I was a grown woman when her story premiered);

Belle: Mom dead, ripped away from beloved father, locked in a castle with a Beast (okay, I admit I don't feel very sorry for her, bc BOOKS...yes, baby, lock me in a library forever with books and no worries about how to pay the rent or what's for dinner), has to fight to save both worlds, her father and the Beast;

Jasmine: Mom dead, has to see the 'real world' to believe what she's told about it, needs to grow and change her perceptions, has to fight to save her father, kingdom, and love;

Mulan: Has to physically alter herself, go against gender norms and fight in battles to save her father;

Pocahontas: Hard life preparing food, fighting to survive, and battling invaders looking for gold, is one of the first Disney environmentalists, risks her life to save a man;

Moana: Again not a man-focused story, an epic sea battle to save her world, village, and people;

Tiana: (I love her, she's one of my favs): Poor, working girl, dreams of owning her restaurant and is actively working for it, isn't man seeking, gets physically altered, and has to save her town;

Rapunzel: Stolen from her family, lied to, and locked in a tower, has to journey to find who she is and where her family are and fight the evil trying to overthrow her father;

Merida: refuses to do 'as tradition says', even battling her parents for it, makes a massive mistake (turning her mom into a bear), and then has to atone and make it right; another not man-centered;

These aren't 'official', but since Disney owns the franchise:

Elsa: Orphaned, gives up beloved sister to keep her safe; has to fight both herself, her terrifying gift, and evil trying to take over the kingdom;

Tarzan's Mom: She mated to the Ape king, but chooses to save infant Tarzan and gets the King's fury and rejection, gets caged and has to daily avoid predators and search for food;

Princess Leia: One of the few with an actual Princess title: Need I say more? This is one 'I ain't no lie around princess', I'm a rebel leader, fighter, get my hands dirty, fight and defy even my own father;

So exactly WHICH Princess do you mean, oh Ms. Pod caster blaming Disney for your own mangled views of life and royalty?  

Watch the movies again and decide if these are REALLY the soft, useless, gown and crown wearing tools you think princesses are. Because they AREN'T. While I don't personally know any, I doubt any real-life titled princesses are either.

ALL the examples above have a common theme: These women had to sacrifice something, had to work for something, and don't just lie around with candy all day expecting the whole world to love them and give them whatever they want JUST because they have a princess title.

It's not Disney that 'betrayed' you, Ms. Podcaster. You did that to yourself. Nor is blaming Disney fair; it's a cop-out to what you yourself want to believe: a fantasy even a child sees through.